Meredith's Choice
by GinnyGirl998
Summary: Brian kisses Meredith. After waiting so long for it to happen will it really be all that she imagined? Thank you 1katiemariee for the great title!
1. Chapter 1

_"Meredith, I'd like you to meet, my boyfriend, Brian." _

_Meredith Stepien shook the hand of a one Brian Holden and smiled. She took in his striking appearance. Like the way his cheekbones were so high, the genteelness in his Grey eyes, or the way his smile seemed to light up the room. He was very attractive in her opinion. _

_Her thoughts then fell to the way she looked, she was wearing the same shirt she wore almost everyday, and her hair was not looking it's best either. This was not the way she'd want to be seen by him. Then her mind snapped back to the fact that this was Jaime's boyfriend._

_"Hi.. Brian, I'm Meredith," She finally said._

* * *

_After shooting Little White Lie, it was obvious Meredith and Brian had become great friends. They'd always be laughing, joking, or just talking. Meredith also became Brian's go to friend for advice on his relationship. But every time Jaime's name would be spoken, a pang of jealousy hit her. _

_There was no doubt that Meredith had fallen for Brian In the last few months. But he was dating Jaime still, and it looked like they weren't going to break up soon. _

_Meredith heard a knock at her door at around one am. She cautiously opened her apartment door, and found Brian there, "Brian!" Her face lit up at the sight of him like it normally did but it quickly fell seeing his expression, "What's wrong?"_

_"I'm sorry.. I just need to talk to someone.." _

_Meredith let him in to her apartment and he began to explain how Jaime had broken up with him. Parts of her heart leapt, happy that he was single now. Thinking of this was selfish, Brian needed her now, she can't think about her own wants. And besides, he was now Jaime's Ex. It's one of the first rules that you don't date your best friend's ex. _

* * *

It was the cast party for Starship, suddenly Meredith felt someone's lips collide with her own. The soft lips seemed to fit perfectly with her's. It was too good to be real. He was kissing her. Brian Holden was kissing her. Yet everything was so wrong.

"I've waited so long to do that.." He said after the kiss and smiled his beautiful smile at her.

"I can't.." She whispered softly, a lump forming in her throat. She couldn't cry, not here with him in front of her. But all of the sudden it felt as though her world came crashing down, and she wished she could cry.

* * *

_It was two days before opening night, and Meredith was going to turn over a new leaf. She was going to forget about ever hoping to be Brian and start dating again. She hadn't dated anyone since Mark, and that was about 3 or 4 years ago. It was perfect timing too, That day Dylan asked her out. _

_"Hey, Meredith, I've got something for you," Dylan said to her back. Meredith quickly turned around to see the familiar face of Dylan Saunders holding a bouquet of flowers. "They're from a fan," he smiled and handed them to her._

_Meredith smiled and opened the card that was dangling from a flower, "Dear Meredith Stepien," She read aloud, "You are one of the most talented, pretty, funny people I know. Have dinner with me? Love Dylan," She smiled then looked up back at him. "These are from you,"_

_He nodded once and smiled nervously as a small blush tinted his cheeks. "So whaddaya say?"_

_"It's a Yes," She smiled. "I'd love to have dinner with you."_

* * *

"You can't?" Brian's happy expressions fell quickly, "You can't what?" He asked with his face twisted in confusion.

"I-I ca- I need to go," She spoke quickly and went back inside, wiping her eyes So that any tears that might fall wouldn't. She said a quick goodbye to Nick , who was talking to Denise about the newest My Little Pony episode, and left the party.

She got in her car and started it. Instead of starting to drive home, like she should've, she rested her head on the steering wheel and began to cry.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

Denise tapped on the Driver's window. Meredith lifted her head and rolled down the window, "Hey, you okay? What's wrong? And don't give me some bullshit about everything being fine. Because I can see your mascara running," as soon as she said that Meredith wiped her eyes.

"The universe hates me."

"Care to explain more?" Denise opened the car door and pulled Meredith out of her seat. The blonde sat on the ground and patted the ground for Meredith to sit next to her. She reluctantly down sat next to her friend, "What's up?"

"Brian.. Kissed me,"

"Well isn't that a good thing? You've been crushing on him forever,"

Meredith didn't even try to deny the fact that she was and that no one was supposed to know. "No! This is a terrible thing!" She rested her head in her hands, "I've been dating Dylan for about three weeks now."

"You have? And you Didn't tell me?" Denise sighed angrily, but quickly gathered herself remembering that Meredith needed a friend now. "So I take it you feel conflicted.." Meredith nodded quickly in response, "Because You really like Brian, but you're dating Dylan and don't want to dump him for Brian," she nodded again.

"Love sucks," Meredith sighed and laid down on the cement, wanting it to swallow her up. "I-I think I love him, Deeds.." Meredith sat up again.

"Brian? Or Dylan"

Meredith pondered this for a moment. She had originally thought she was in love with Brian, but thinking of Dylan, she wasn't so sure. "Both, I guess.. Is it possible to love two people at once?"

"Well.. I guess so. It's just isn't fair to the other people involved, If they both love you back that is."

"I don't want to hurt anyone.."

"People are going to get hurt no matter what, this is love."

"Yeah.. I guess I just need to chose one over the other."

"Why don't you make a pro and con list? I find they always help me out when I'm deciding between two things," Denise said. Meredith sighed, it wasn't a bad idea. "Let's do Brian 1st."

Meredith giggled, she knew it wasn't what Denise meant, but she couldn't help but laugh at it, she really was immature. "Okay.. Pro. Good Kisser."

"Really, Meredith? That's the first thing you think of?" Denise shook her head. "Anything else?"

Meredith giggled again, feeling better from the laughing. "I like spending time with him. He's nice. And funny. He knows me. And He is very good looking."

"So what about the cons?"

"He waited." Meredith said almost immeditly. "I was single for about three years, and so was he. He could've easily kissed me before tonight. He even told me he'd wanted to kiss me for a while now. Yet he had to wait." Meredith sighed again, it felt good to get it all out right now.

"And Dylan?"

"He's nice to me. When we're together it seems he genuinely cares about what I want to do when we're together. He's sweet. And he didn't wait." She smiled again.

"Okay. So the Cons for Dylan?"

"He's not Brian.." Meredith sighed and layed her head on Denise's shoulder.

Denies wrapped her arms around her friend in a hug. "Come on, Mere, let's go to the apartment. You don't have to decide anything yet. You need rest." She brought Meredith back to the car and set her in the passenger's side. Denise proceeded to get in the drivers side and take Meredith back home.

**A/N: Yay new stories. I've had this one in the works for a long time but forgot about it until today so you guys get the first chapter! I tried to do sort of a memory to now type of story so italics are flashbacks. And it might not continue though the next chapters since I started it a while ago and am not exactly feeling that style anymore...**


	2. Chapter 2

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz._

Meredith's phone vibrated again. She didn't want anymore texts from Dylan asking if she was alright,why she left early, or where she went last night after the party. She was about to throw it across the room when she saw the message wasn't from Dylan, but Brian.

'Can we talk?'

That's all that he sent. She picked up her phone and sent a quick reply. She didn't feel like handling this yet, but it needed to be done. Brian deserved to know why she had just ran out like that.

'Meet you at the Hobbit Hill in 10'

* * *

_Meredith laughed and giggled as she rolled down a small hill while Brian watched her from the top of it. "Come on, Bri! Just roll!" She tried getting him to roll down the hill after her but he just wouldn't budge. _

_"I'll pass.." He yelled to her. There was no way he was getting on the ground and rolling down a hill._

_Meredith rolled her eyes and walked back up to him. "Chicken," She teased him. Before he could say anything she laid down on top of the hill, looked up at the sky and smiled. _

_"Whatcha looking at?" He asked, laying down next to her._

_"A Pig Belly dancing." a small giggle escaped her lips. _

_"Looks more like a owl, if you ask me." He said from next to her, catching on to the fact she was naming the shapes in the sky. _

_"Well yeah.. But I was trying to be creative.." She smiled again. It felt so right, at the time, to be laying here with him. Watching the clouds go by. Rolling down hills. Just enjoying themselves. Then her smile faded again. They were just friends, that's probably all they'd ever be, no matter how much Meredith wished it otherwise. _

_"You know. I bet Bilbo lives under here." Meredith pointed at the hill underneath her. "It seems like it could be the perfect place for him. It looks like it does on the book cover, just minus the windows an doors." She shrugged._

_Brian looked over at her and chuckled. "You know, you could be right." He smiled, the things she thought of sometimes. _

_"I'm gonna call this the Hobbit Hill." She nodded an looked over at him. "What do you think?"_

_"I think that is a wonderful name. We'll come back here often then," He said, sitting up to look better at her._

_"Okay." She grinned, standing up. "I'll race you to the car." And she took off._

* * *

Meredith got in her car and drove to the Hobbit Hill. It seemed it was yesterday when they dubbed it the Hobbit Hill. The last 2 years had gone by fast. She got out of her car to find that Brian was already there, laying down and looking at the sky.

"Brian?" She walked up the hill closer to him.

"Meredith!" He sat up instantly and looked over at her, "Look I'm sorry for last night. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable or anything.. I just... Just thought you might've felt the same way. But apparently, I was wrong and now I feel like an asshole." He stopped him self from rambling on anymore," I just. Don't want this to compromise our friendship."

"I love you!" Meredith blurted out.

"Y-You love me?" Brian asked, disbelieving her words, but the nod she gave him confirmed it. "Why did you leave then? After the kiss. Am I really that bad a kisser?" He joked.

Meredith let out a choked laugh. "No. No. You're an amazing kisser," She said quickly, wiping her eyes. "It's just.. I'm dating Dylan, Brian." she said simply.

His happy face fell quickly in to the look of a saddened puppy. "Leave him."

"What? No. I can't. I couldn't do that to him." She said her voice faltering.

"Why not? You just told me you love me! And.. And I love you! Just explain the situation to him and leave him! He'd understand!" Brian said in an angry tone, nearly yelling.

"Brian, are you listening to yourself right now?! It'd break his heart if I did that! You're friends with him! You can't honestly want that for him!"

"You two broke my heart every damn time you were on stage kissing. I wanted that with you! And it just had to be him, didn't it? Honestly, if you had chosen to go out with any other guy, I probably could've gotten over it easier than him. But no, it had to be him, the guy I loathed for being able to kiss you every night on that stage. The guy who sings like an angel. Him. Dylan fucking Saunders."

"Bri.."

"Don't call me that." Brian said angrily.

Meredith stood there stunned for a few moments. Had he really meant all of that? "Brian." She chocked out, "It was apart of the show. I couldn't just not kiss him."

"You could've." she ignored this and kept going.

"I waited 4years for you. I have loved you for almost 4 years. in that time you could've easily asked me out whenever you wanted. But you didn't. In a way, you brought this upon you. If you didn't wait until last night we probably could've worked out."

"I'm sorry! Okay! I'm sorry for not realizing how in love I was with you until I saw you kiss Dylan! And I'm sorry for not plucking up the courage to kiss you sooner! believe me, if I had accepted my feelings for you sooner, it wouldn't be like this! I hope you and Dylan work out great together but I need to go." And with that, he stomped off angrily back to his car.

* * *

A bowl of ice cream in one hand the TV Remote in another, Meredith sat in the kitchen sink eating and watching the Spanish Channel. She couldn't understand a thing anyone was saying, but acted as though it was a very drama filled episode of a soap opera.

"Diego, you bastard! That is your sister. Be nice you your sister!" She yelled at the TV shoving in another scoop of cookie dough ice cream. Even though it was only 11:15 am, she still ate the cold treat.

"Meredith!" Denise entered the kitchen just at that moment. "What are you doing?! How did you even fit in the sink? What happened with Brian?" Denise bombarded her with questions.

"Wow. Deeds, just shut up for like 2 minutes. I need to see what happens to Diego."

"Meredith.." Denise sighed and shut off the TV. It was quite sad, that her best friend was eating ice cream in a kitchen sink, and watching Go Diego! Go! "Talk to me. What happened with Brian."

"No Hablo Ingles." Was all Meredith would say. She was being one stubborn bitch.

"¿Yo Hablo español? Mí Tambien. ¿Como te llamas?" Denise knew those 5 years of spanish would pay off somehow.

"Uhh... Si?" Meredith sighed. "Fine.. You got me. I don't speak Spanish."

"What happened with Brian?" Denise asked again.

And so Meredith dived in to the whole story that happened on Hobbit Hill. "And now. I have no idea what to do." She said after her tale had been completed.

"Call Dylan. He needs to know. where's your phone?"

Meredith opened the door to the freezer and reached down in to the ice tray and grabbed her phone. "32 unread messages. All from Dylan." Meredith shoved the phone in to Denise's hands.

"Mere, Your phone is literally frozen!" Denise sighed and put ice block on the counter.

"Sorry," Meredith said and shrugged. She actually wasn't even sorry at all though.

"Here, you can use my phone," Denise said and smiled starting to dial Dylan's number.

"Ugh don't make me do this, Denise," Meredith groaned and flung her head back hitting the wall.

"Oh no, you aren't running away from your problems this time," She quickly retorted handing the phone to her friend as she crawled out of the sink. Denise cleaned up the dish of ice cream as Meredith headed out in to the other, room to face her problems head on like a big girl.


	3. Chapter 3

2 in the morning was not a time you'd normally like to receive a call from a friend of yours who needs to be picked up. "Brian why can't you just take a cab?" Joe groaned as he sat up from his comfy.

"I don't... Have any more money. I'd drive home. But. Do you remember the last time that happened? I've already been arrested once because of a DUI, it's not happening again." Brian tried speaking steadily but slurred his words more than intended.

"Ah yes, I do think you told me about that. I'll be there in a few." Joe said and started to get dressed.

* * *

_The cell was cold. Brian didn't want to be there at all. Did he regret the choices he made that night of course he did. Was he going to let them have him fall behind. Of course not._

_One important thing he was starting to gain here was that jail wasn't a nice place. Sure where he was just a holding cell for those drunks to sober up and call someone, but he still didn't like it._

_Break ups were hard, all Brian felt was the need to drown his sorrows in alcohol. When Jaime had broken up with hi. It had been so... Unexpected. But he was thankful enough to have Meredith by his side. She was always a great help._

_As soon as the guards had cleared Brian okay for his call, he dialed the number of who came to his mind first. Meredith. She was always there for him. She help him out._

_"Hello?" A voice answered from on the other line._

_"Hey, uh Meredith? Would you come... I need. Uh.. Can you come bail me out of jail and pick me up right now. I really don't have long to talk," He said and sighed._

_"You landed yourself in Jail?" Meredith said disbelieving. Brian was actually surprised at the alertness in her voice even though it was around 3 am._

_"Yeah yeah, I know just I'll talk to you about it when you come pick me up. Pleaseeee? I only have a few more seconded and I don't like it in here." Brian pleaded._

_"Yeah yeah, I'll be there in a bit, just give me a while," Meredith said then hung up._

_Brian couldn't of been more grateful when Meredith showed up at the jail and payed him out. Brian received his court date and got his drivers license taken away for they said two months. He got in to Meredith's car and smiled fondly over at her, "Thank you so much." He said._

_"Yeah it was nothing. I was already awake so it's better you call me than disturb the slumber of any of your other friends. Now why don't you tell me what happened." Meredith said as she started to drive._

* * *

_"Please don't throw up on to anything," Joe said as Brian stumbled in to the car._

_"I'll try not to.." Brian said as he laid down in the back seat of the car, and closed his eyes as the nausea washed over him._

_"And don't pass out until I get you to my place, I'm not carrying your limp body all the way up to my apartment. You'll have to help some." Joe had quickly added._

_"Yeah yeah, okay."_

_Around 10 minutes later they were at the door to Joe's apartment. Joe searched himself for his keys then groaned. He left them in his car. "Uh just stay here," Joe told Brian as he quickly started to make his way to grab the keys._

_Upon arrival back upstairs, Joe found an unconscious Brian in the hall. "You my friend are not going to be a joy tomorrow," Joe said as he unlocked the door the hoisted Brian up and carried him over the threshold._

_Joe stood there for a moment. He had to decide, whether or not to put Brian in his own bed or on the couch. Choosing the nicer thing, Joe carried Brian to his bedroom and placed him on the bed. "I swear to god, Holden, if you end up barfing on my sheets-" Joe started then stopped remembering that Brian probably couldn't hear him._

_Brian was one lucky man tonight as well, Joe thought. If Lauren had been with him, he wouldn't have even gotten picked up. Joe tucked Brian in, grabbed a pillow for himself then headed out to the couch. He was used to it out here anyway, from the times Lauren had taken up most of the bed and just would not move over. She was however getting better at not doing that._

* * *

"So, what was the heartbreak about this time?" Joe asked as Brian sat down at the table the next morning and started in on the pancakes Joe had made.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Brian said his mouth stuffed with food.

"Oh come on. Last time you got too drunk to drive it was because Jaime. You only ever get seriously drunk when you've gone though some sort of heartbreak." Joe had quickly countered.

"Seriously there was nothing. Just felt like having a little fun you know?" Brian had said. He wasn't about to go telling Joe about what happened with Meredith.

"Did it have something to do with Meredith?" Joe asked. "I mean she ran off after you kissed her pretty fast."

"How did-"

"I saw it. It was kind of obvious not gonna lie," Joe said with a smile. "So was it about that?"

Brian just nodded. And a moment later he began recounting the story. Recalling that event and not to mention his annoying hangover. Brian was not enjoying how today was going so far.

**A/N: idk. I just got the idea of brian getting so drunk one night and i tried writing and just yea. so i tried. idk man. i feel like this is so shitty. man like i half assed everything here. but the idea is in my mind and i cant get rid of it now. uvu. we'll see how the rest goes. thanks for the reviews! and more are always appreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

_"I love you too," Meredith grinned biting her lower lip, "Alright, then tomorrow night? Sounds good. See you then! Bye!" And she hung up the phone. _

_"Well that seemed to go well," Denise said entering the living room after Meredith hung up nod took her phone back. "How did it go?"_

_"Well, I'm going out to dinner with Dylan tomorrow."_

_"Did you tell him what happened between you and Brian though?" _

_"I did! He was surprisingly calm about the whole thing. In fact, he said that if I wanted to we could stop seeing each other and I could date Brian if I wanted to. He said he wouldn't care."_

_Denise nodded skeptically it seemed a little odd that Dylan would've done that, "but you didn't?" Denise continued for her._

_Meredith shook her head, "I just couldn't. I heard the sadness in his voice as he said that to me. And-and I just couldn't. I like Brian I really do... But he was just so slow on the uptake. And I love Dylan and he's there I just couldn't do that to him." Meredith said and sighed. _

_Denise nodded, "I understand, what are you going to do about Brian though?"_

_Meredith shrugged, "I don't know? Hope everything goes well, and that he learns just to back off." _

That was the last thing she remembered. Meredith's eyelids fluttered open and a flood of bright light greeted her. She attempted to cover her eyes, but there was a shooting pain in her arm that held her back. Her whole body seemed to feel in pain.

"Hey, you awake?" a familiar voice greeted her. Meredith nodded and tried to sit up but was pushed down, "Just relax," Dylan said calmly.

"What happened? Where am I?" She asked looking up at him when her eyes finally adjusted.

"Hospital, you got in an accident. Car accident to be exact." Dylan said then sighed softly.

"How long have I been out?"

"Five days."

"Thank you," Meredith said actually sitting up now. "For staying here," She added looking back up at Dylan and giving him a small smile.

"Yeah listen, Meredith that's just the thing. I've been here for only about 20 minutes, and haven't been by as often as you would probably of liked, believe me, I would've if I could, but with work and stuff it was hard to visit you sometimes," Dylan had admitted. "And well, I just thought, that well maybe you'd want to know this too... But Brian's been here everyday for you. Wow, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be," Dylan said scratching his chin.

"Just tell what you're trying to say," Meredith said, still very confused about what was going.

"Okay, well, we can't do this anymore. It's not working... You and me." he said rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "I like you, Mere, I really do, and with that I'm going say that you shouldn't of chosen me over Brian. I mean, you've been in love with him for forever, he's probably been the same over you, he's a mess over this, and I know I can get though it. Honestly choosing him everything would be better, trust me." Dylan said. "Look I've gotta go okay," He added checking his nonexistent watch and left leaving Meredith there.

She sat there, wondering what she was supposed to do now. She didn't feel like crying. She wasn't going to cry. In fact a tiny bit of her felt relived and better. The mess of mixed emotions, overwhelmed her, and she just wen back to sleep trying to think everything over.

**A/N: uh so yeah. I feel like I just half asses this whole story, this whole plot probably could've been more climatic, but to be honest, at the moment I'm just trying to finish stories so I don't have so many stories going at one time. So yeah sorry for probably another shitty chapter and a quick drop off of events.**


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